alright. everyone knows novels are tedious work, right? butbut then again, a lot of people know that novels are just amazing to work. tedious, yet amazing. nice, balanced combo, yus?
this novel, which i'm currently going to just dub Back To Shore, since no other titles are coming to mind, is going to be posted onto this webite chapter by chapter, or, more likely, excerpt by excerpt. sorry, i just can't trust those plagiarizers out there. ._. i'm not going to be posting the entire, complete thing.
but then again, when that someday comes when this novel hits the shelves, you'll be able to read it full to your heart's content.
if it hits the shelves. that's where YOU come in. (whoo) 833 give me feedback. critique, help, advice, whatever. i just need to know how people are going to like it, and if they're going to like it.
here's some basic info on it that you'll need:
.the book's targeted towards the the 'young adults'- tweens, teens, middle and high school and even possible college students.
.the book is character-driven till near the end, where a subplot comes up.
.the book is written by a student still in school, so it's not goign to be perfect.
here's something i randomly came up with for a backcover description thingy:
the ocean was a source of wonder and quietude to lily- she loved it, inhaled it, knew the very essence of it. or thought she did. so suddenly, everything she knew is shattered- her best friend and parents die within the very waves of the ocean. as just a girl embarking upon seventh grade, this causes her much pain...and so much suffering. wallowing and drowning in despair, she closes up, becomes a sort of recluse, reeling with regret the entire time. however, with the help of maybe a handful of rare, understanding characters, she may just find her way back to the shore. of course, only after another equally powerful incident must test her resilience.
got it? m'kay then. goodluck, um, reading? xD;
PROGRESS IN REAL LIFE: have just started the first couple pages of chapter three. oh, and there' s prologue, but it's written on paper and im too lazy to type it up just yet x)
Two eyes stared back at me haughtily.
I prodded at the two sunny day ups with the fork, and then set it down with a clink. The feeble attempt at cheerfulness was sweet, but seriously, how could I expect to eat breakfast when I knew what was coming after it? I flipped the bacon smile over two times, nibbled at it, and then set it back on the plate again.
Debbie and Gray weren’t in the kitchen- I think they were in their room. I knew they were talking about me.
I tilted the chair back, leaning my head against the tip of it and staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes. They didn’t need to worry so much about me- I didn’t want them to. They weren’t supposed to. I hated that they were nervous and concerned about me day and night, thinking about me like they should be thinking about…Hannah.
I swallowed. My throat stung. I downed the glass milk in one gulp, wolfed down the sunny day ups, and stuffed the piece of bacon into my mouth. I chewed furiously for a moments, swiping my tongue against the inside of my cheeks before I was sure the whole thing was gone.
I felt just a bit better.
Carrying the plate and glass over to the sink, I decided to wash it all. Back at home, I’d always left the dishwashing to mom and dad- I hated doing the chores.
For some reason, here I loved doing them. In the past two weeks at Debbie and Gray’s house, I was really working. I vacuumed every inch of the house every week in this weird frenzy, washed both faces of the windows of the house, set the kitchen table and cleaned it every night…I had no idea why I was doing all this. It just felt good, and made me concentrate only on the stuff I was doing.
I guided the sponge across the plate in slow, deliberate circles, not wanting to finish.
Maybe I could pretend to be sick today? I stared at the dish soap for a few moments, wondering if drinking soap made you sick. Maybe I’d be poisoned so much I’d have to go to the ER, and not have to go to school for weeks. Months maybe even. Picking up the bottle of soap with slippery fingers, I tried reading the stuff on the back of it behind the layer of soap bubbles coating it.
I squinted, couldn’t find anything about what to do when swallowing the soap.
“Lils, you didn’t need to wash the dishes.” I turned. Gray stood behind me, peering at the plate in my hand. I rinsed the soap bottle and set it back by the sink.
“Oh, it’s okay. I'm almost done anyway,” I said to the plate. Hastily I rinsed the whole thing and stuck them on top of the stacks in s cupboard.
“Thanks, Lils. Next time, though, you can just stick them into the dishwasher. That’s what it’s there for,” he added with a short laugh.
“Okay,” I replied, trying to laugh too. The forced laughter dissolved into the silence, which immediately turned awkward.
“You should go get your bag, then,” Gray said finally. “We don’t want to be late.”
ANOZZUR EXCERPT WHERE LILY HAS TO ENDURE THOSE NASTY RUMORS ABOUT HER. FYI AND BTW, THOSE GIRLS' VERSION OF HANNAH'S AND HER PARENTS' DEATHS ARENT TRUE. THEY- ARE- RUMORZZ. DD':
I had got a pass to go to the bathroom, mostly to just take a break from LA class and Miss Corlson. She had been hovering around me again, and when she asked if I ‘felt alright’ I just said I had to go to the bathroom. It was in the middle of a quiz, but of course she let me.
So I had pushed open the huge swinging door into the girls’ restroom, and as I was looking in the mirror and thinking about how long I could stay in here without being too long, I heard someone behind me talking.
Well yeah, it scared the shit out of me at first. Her voice was loud, you see, and I’d thought I was alone. I spun around and found the pair of old white Pumas under one stall, and also saw a pair of pink Converse shoes under another one.
Apparently they hadn’t heard me coming in, since they were carrying on their conversation.
“So you know about Lily Travers, right?” Said Pumas. I froze.
“You mean the girl whose parents died?” Said Converse.
“Yeah…you know her best friend died too?”
“Wow, from what?”
“I think it was a car crash or something. Her parents were drunk and were asked to drop her friend off at her friend’s house. Her parents were at this party or something, and her friend was at swimming lessons.”
“So they all died at the same time?”
“Yeah.”
“You know- I heard she cuts herself.”
“You mean Lily?”
“Yeah. Do you know Olivia Rayels?”
“Yeah?”
“She told me. She knew Lily from last year since they had the same science class together and said that she was always wearing long sleeves or jackets, even in June. She said she was cold, but how can you be cold in June? And she acts so weird now anyway.”
“Wow…that’s sorta creepy. You know, like, if she didn’t cut herself then she’s still probably messed up or something.”
“Yeah.”
I had realized I that I was holding my breath. Letting it all out in a big whoosh, I had then qxheard the toilets flushing. I’d shut myself in one of the empty stalls immediately, and heard them stepping out and water rushing and paper towels being wrenched from the dispenser. Only when I had heard the last swinging creak of the big door had I stepped out, breathing heavily, and raised my eyes, speechless, to the mirror facing me on the wall.
The seatbelt strap felt tight, suffocating against my chest and throat. I pulled at it, feeling unnecessary panic seep into my mind.
I shifted. Still the taut seatbelt felt cutting against my skin- I wouldn’t’ve been surprised if bruises showed up later. Glancing quickly at Debbie and Gray sitting in front, I unbuckled my seatbelt.
The thought of Hannah and mom and dad soon surfaced. I stretched the strap across me again, releasing it as I heard the click.
The backseat of the car didn’t really annoy me, I realized finally. It was…actually sort of reassuring, to sit in the back while they took charge. It felt safe. Felt like first grade.
I swallowed, staring at the back of Hannah’s parents’ heads. As Debbie gave me a reassuring smile in the rearview mirror, I hastily glanced away, breathing heavily. I felt so self-conscious now, so guilty, so…like everything was my fault.
And everything was.
After Hannah and mom and dad had disappeared, that guy had called for help and left soon after a rescue search party had been formed.
They found the three bodies, all pruned up in the ocean.
We made the local news. They- the almighty Law- put me to live with Debbie and Gray, since they were my only living relatives.
I’d left the bucket and shells on the beach. I suddenly had a huge wanting to go to the beach and collect them.
I would never swim in the ocean ever again. Ever.
The ocean deserved to be drained out.
“Lils?” Oh please no. I didn’t want to talk to Debbie, or Gray. Didn’t want to face them.
“Um, yeah?” I could’ve kicked myself. I sounded so ungrateful.
“You’re okay, right? Nothing’s wrong?” She sounded so concerned, genuinely worried…well, I guess all parents were like that.
“Um, yeah. I…” I casted around for something to say. “I…you aren’t mad at me?”
Stupid. Stupid to say.
“No.” She sounded fully surprised. “Why?”
I’d thought that was obvious. “Because…because you have to take me home and stuff. And…” I couldn’t voice my other fear. That they hated me, or at least didn’t like me anymore, since I was there. I saw them die. Wouldn’t Debbie and Gray hate me for that? I hadn’t been able to save them…and instead of doing anything to repay them, I had to be taken care of and looked after.
And I was a reminder of Hannah.
“No, no of course not. What would make you think that?” I imagined Debbie’s voice lighter than usual, laced with a faked sincerity.
“Um…nothing,” I muttered.
“Don’t ever think that we don’t want you, Lils,” said Gray. “Nothing’s your fault, and we love you.”
I blinked. How could he’ve known? “Okay,” I mumbled. “Thanks.”
The rest of the ride was silent, save for the occasional juggling of my stuff in the trunk of the car. I still doubted that they had completely forgiven me, though. If they were human, they’d still have an inkling of dislike, at least.
ANOZZUR EXCERPT WHERE LILY'S FEELING BAD ABOUT SLEEPING IN HANNAH'S ROOM, YA KNOW?
The clock read 10: 02. The house was quiet. I strained to hear to hear any sounds like footsteps, a muffled TV, or voices. There was nothing. I was sort of surprised- did they really go to sleep this late? Mom and dad usually went to bed at midnight, with all that work and coffee.
I was getting this really weird feeling. Like this something was watching me. I mean, I knew I wasn’t supposed to think about paranoid stuff like that, but still…I wasn’t sure if I could fall asleep. The tiny alarm clock set on the bedside table sounded loudly, ticking and tocking away. I wasn’t sure if I was more annoyed, or scared. Maybe if I went into a different room? I thought about it. There were three bedrooms in this house- Debbie and Gray’s, Hannah’s, and a guest bedroom. The guest bedroom was downstairs, and had no mattress on its bed frame. Plus I was sort of scared sleeping down there all alone.
That left the couch in the mini living room by the stairs. I thought about this idea- it seemed more and more appealing. I definitely wanted to get out of this room, which I felt a bit…guilty…sleeping in, for some reason. I just knew I didn’t like the feeling.
I winced as I stepped onto a creaking floorboard, and waited for a sound of someone getting up. Nothing. Making a mental note to memorize the pattern of noisy floorboards, I tiptoed along the hallway, emerging out into the mini living room by the stairs. It was basically just a soft olive green couch and a coffee table, a floor lamp leaning over the set. I dumped the pillow onto one arm of the couch and set the heap of sheets onto the other. Crawling in, I pulled the stuff up over my shoulders and rolled over.
And then I realized. Wouldn’t Debbie and Gray be mad at me if they found out I’d rejected the room they prepared for me and decided to sleep instead on a couch? They’d be so mad, I just knew. And so disappointed.
I couldn’t let them know.
I made a detour back to Hannah’s room, and brought back the ticking alarm clock. Setting the alarm to 6:00 in the morning (I hoped it was early enough), I put the clock behind my back, against the back of the couch. This way, the sound wouldn’t be as loud as to wake Debbie or Gray up, but it’d definitely wake me up with the jiggling and jolting.
When it did, I’d go back to Hannah’s room and pretend to be sleeping in there. They’d never know I’d spent the night on the couch, and I would only have to endure maybe around half an hour of the room. I could just pretend to be an early bird.
I hoped it would work. In fact, I was almost going to pray to God about helping me with the plan before I remembered: I didn’t trust God anymore. I was supposed to hate God.